Miles Davis was asked in a 60 Minute interview "Would you still be a musician if nobody heard you?" He answered 'Yes of course it's in me, I love music, I can't get it out.'
I didn't buy it at the time. Why play if no-one listens? It did not make sense. It gnawed away at my psyche but I learned to live with it, thought it was just the enigma that is Miles.
I made Hope, my first album oblivious. I was on a mission to pay homage to the Band I led for ten years. The band was dear to me and I wanted to finish what I started ever since we split. I put myself out to get the best possible sound; then wrote new tracks, to get the best possible songs and in the course of things the album became less about the Band and more about me.
When the album was complete I began promoting to get sales. Truth was, I did not expect anyone to buy the album but unlike before it did not get me down. It was puzzling. I smiled through the impending doom wondering what had happened? Where had the feeling of dispear gone? Why was I not filled with dread? Ten years ago it was all about the 'record deal' it would have been inconceivable to feel this way, to feel happy, what happened ?
Fact was, underneath it all, my music was the best it had ever been. I was writing the songs I always dreamed of but never thought capable and all I did to get there was let go. It's not that I let go of 'the dream,' I simply realised I had the wrong one.
Now I know what Miles meant. I do not do music for others I do it for me because' its in me, I can't get it out.' My only dream, my only concern is to get it right; that is the dream, that's enough.